Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
