I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
