I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Someone signed my nipple.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
