Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize