Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
