Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
