so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
