i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
