so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
