Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
