How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
