Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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