dude i'm inner monologue high
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
