you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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