Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
