I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just had sex bonerless
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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