Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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