its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
