I CAN MOONWALK!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
