No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
