Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
