no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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