I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
