finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
