so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
