You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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