Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's always time for handjobs
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
