He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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