ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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