We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
