can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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