Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
