i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
