So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
