Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room

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(540): View more from Virginia

Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

(404): View more from Georgia

Maybe....

(540): View more from Virginia

Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

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(510): View more from California

Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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(517): View more from Michigan

well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month

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(917): View more from New York City

hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.

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(858): View more from California

we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.

(858): View more from California

Where did he get the tophat?

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(309): View more from Illinois

Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF

(919): View more from North Carolina

They call him magic hands is all I know.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Somethings are best left a mystery

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