is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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