I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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