Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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