I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
