i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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