if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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