They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
