is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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