College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
