This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
