Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
