Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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