im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
