True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
