I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
