I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
