People in love make me want to vomit
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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