why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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