I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
