i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
3pm strippers are depressing
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
