Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
