Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
