Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
