make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
