Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
