laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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