i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
