OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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