How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
