I can text with my tongue
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
