ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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