Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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