Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
