i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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