Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
