So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
